It has just occurred to me. Baby= Child. Child= Holiday fun. Holiday fun= Halloween. Halloween= Trick or Treat. Trick or Treat= Candy. Candy= For Child. Child= Baby. Baby= Too young for Candy. Too young for Candy= All the more for me.
Maybe this mommy thing won't be so bad after all!
The Husband
The Wife
The Big Girl
The Smaller Babe
I gave our blog a face lift because I figured it was time. Also I couldn't add anything new to the old template because it was some weird sort of css/html thing that I couldn't edit after a few years soooooo here's our new blog!
All I can think about is the snowcone I'm getting today after my doctor appointment.
And my husband who brought me krispy kreme from far away.
Well last night Rob and I took time out of our already oh so short night to go to the hospital for an infant care course. Now before you get all snarky, I'd like to point out that the main reason we signed up for this class was for the infant CPR. As little as I know about babies, Rob pointed out to me that the majority of my knowledge would come from common sense, instinct, or from the three motherly sources in my life: my mom, his mom, and ashley. Not to mention the countless amounts of cousins, aunts, grandmothers, great grandmothers, and the general public who would no doubt give me their opinions whether I asked for them or not.
So, the CPR. We figured it would be a good skill to have and it has been years since either one of us took any kind of CPR or first aid. So I called the hospital (this is important- take note) and verified the class had CPR. Now I think you all know where this is going.
Rob came home early, and went on for about 5 minutes how it was so annoying that our class was three hours long (7-10pm!) and all he cared about was the CPR, and the rest would be stupid, etc. etc. We dragged our tired selves out of the house and made our way to the hospital, saw the thousands of pregnant women walking around, felt awkward, slightly terrified, and made our way to the classroom. We met the teacher. Found a spot towards the back of the classroom where I figured the teacher wouldn't be able to see Rob's eyes rolling. Got the itinerary. Read it over. Uh oh...something was missing...
The teacher walks in and introduces herself. The next words out of her mouth are, "For those of you looking to CPR, we stopped teaching that here. But here's a list of all the other places you can call or look into for CPR classes!" I avoided Rob's eyes, but I could feel the look. Somewhere between, "Die, traitor die" and "I'm slightly amused by the irony of the situation, but only slightly". He wrote on his paper, "Don't worry, I still love you, sort of." I assured him in whispers as the teacher went on explaining the class itinerary that I had CALLED THE HOSPITAL back in like December or January and that it must have changed and maybe we would learn some awesome things here anyways.
An hour and a half later, we were bored, the chairs were uncomfortable, and the people around us were either WAY too excited to be participating in the class (taking notes, asking questions and taking things too literally, generating some hostility between them and the rest of us) or in a state of boredom/terror over the information coming at them. Even with my limited knowledge, I had to agree that most of the class was super pointless and mundane. Rob was busy writing derogatory responses to the outline's more obvious points (don't leave your baby in the bathtub alone- really? ok!) and I was waiting anxiously for the break in between the 1.5 hour blocks.
The only redeeming point of the night was a full 5 minutes of hysterical laughter from all of us while watching clips from "Happiest Baby on the Block". The creepy creepy man in the video seemed a bit rapey as he explained the 5 "S's", but nothing was funnier than the babies' expressions as he went about all of these tips. For those of you who haven't heard of the 5 s's, they are: Swaddling, Side/Stomach positioning, Shushing, Swaying, and Sucking. They talk about layering these in that order until your baby has calmed down and stopped crying. For the most part I agree with all of that anyways, but the way it was portrayed was just so funny. The swaddling was funny to watch because, hi, they used all these cute little babies and what's funnier than a baby burrito? The side/stomach thing was funny because these babies would droop over the guy's arm like a ragdoll and lay there blissfully drooling. The funniest of them all was the shushing, because this was no calming hush sound. This was a wind tunnel in the ear SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this man projected, and the baby's eyes got so big I thought they'd pop right out. They all made the craziest expressions, something along the lines of, "who is this crazy man and heck yes i'll shut up if it means he'll stop blowing in my ear!!!" I don't even remember the other two s's because Rob and I completely lost it over the shhhing part of the video. Luckily everyone else was laughing over the babies anyways so it kind of covered up our hysterical laughter.
Anyways, after 90 minutes of inane questions, boring facts, and some disturbing imagery of circumcision, Rob and I were ready to bail. The nipple confusion and detailed discussion of the best way to clean the baby girl's labia (sorry but thats what she said) was the final straw. Break time came around and Rob and I scooted out the back door, got food and came home an hour early to relax and recover.
Maybe we'll just watch baby CPR online.
The last few days at work have gone like this.
Work work work....bored bored bored. Look at my hands...look at and see the hand sanitizer. EXCITEMENT! Put on hand sanitizer. Rub it lovingly on my hands. Enjoy the germ free feeling. Smell the clean smell...mmmmm wait....put my hands up to my nose and inhale....ahhhh.
More work. More bored. Stare around at the office....AHA! HAND SANITIZER! I get excited. Put on hand sanitizer. Rub on onto my hands in anticipation of the lovely lovely smell and .... sigh. Satisfaction.
I believe I may have become addicted to the smell of my hand sanitizer. Kind of the way I get after cleaning my house with cleaning product except WAY more excited. And its easier to do.
Spare me the lectures. The first step to healing is admittance.
In an effort to make this blog a little more interesting, I'll stop using it merely as a day to day (or at the rate I post, month month) updating of our lives and start injecting little antidotes that I usually forget 5 minutes after they happen. So.
My back hurt, so I decided to stretch it out. As I was, I had a great idea! When my back hurt pre-pregnancy, nothing felt so good as laying on the floor and pressing the small of my back into the ground, rocking like you were a baby in a cradle. Its a dance stretch I learned somewhere. Anyways, I got myself down onto the floor, and immediately felt some relief with my back flattened. My pelvis however complained loudly (the muscles and bones haven't been getting along very well lately). I dragged my chair over and propped my feet up, which provided some support. It felt really great! Until someone walked by and stared at me, which caused me to laugh. Somehow in all of this i forgot to (sorry tmi) swallow and spent the next 30 seconds choking on my spit while coughing, laying flat on the floor with my stomach, baby, and uterus pressing down on my lungs.
Of course all this was AFTER I forgot I was 8 months pregnant and got my giant stomach stuck underneath my desk and proceeded to scrape skin off when I sat up quickly.
No, I was sitting at my desk. Yes, I leaned forward, scooted close to the desk like I like to be, and sat up, only to be mindful of the extra 8 inches of protruding Kaje and baby H. that suddenly seared like it was on fire. I can only hope Baby didn't feel any pain. The pointed jabs coming from inside tell me I'm wrong.
Oops. Sorry baby.
50 days until baby is due to grace us with her presence! I'm getting antsy and I'm also back to working full time at the church. They lost their office admin and asked me to step in while they figure out who they will hire. There are a lot of transitions going on there because its so small & has such an aged congregation they have had a hard time bringing in new members. They have just signed on to work as a co-op church with another large Methodist church in the area, which means that more likely than not they will just bring on one of the administrators from the other church. But that means they will need to go through a background check since we have a school here, and it all takes time, so while all this is getting figured out, I'm working 9-5 here. I'm so happy to be able to help out again financially but this time around its super draining and makes the days go by slower. The pregnancy is catching up with me, I'm sore most of the time in my hips and sometimes its agony to walk around, and other times its the sitting that kills my back. And I'm tired and have lost the little energy I have. Luckily its only for a month or two, and it will make me feel better to help while I can.
Baby Girl has been measuring right on schedule, has a strong heart beat, and I believe her newest game is to elbow or knee me in the side. It rarely hurts but its the STRANGEST sensation to have this pointy little thing sticking out- it even grosses Rob out. How strange to think that next month we will be parents! I pre-registered at our hospital, and when I was filling out the birth certificate information, where it says "Mother" and "Father" I kept wanting to put my parents' information! I am getting used to the idea of a baby, but I still am not used to the idea that a baby makes me a mommy. The idea that for the next several years I will be referring to Rob as Daddy in the presence of our kid is just so weird!
Other than that, not too much is new. Our car is making terrifying noises and jerks but still runs and hopefully will for a while yet. The weather has been interesting, with a mixture of 90 degree sunny days and a few tornadoes with winds over 75 miles an hour. I have been nesting, but not very successfully. Especially with work now, I get home so tired that I'm more likely to just get mad at the mess rather than clean it, and when I do start cleaning I get carried away and clean the whole house like we are having company which makes me even MORE tired. I also am frustrated because baby's room is literally just filled with all the baby stuff. Its all in bags and wrappers and just piled in there, and I have no idea what to do with it all. We need to get a dresser and some hangers and a few plastic bins so I can get to organizing like I want to.
That's all folks!
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