Breakfast On Pluto

I got alot of texts and posts yesterday giving me Mother's Day Congratulations. For one, I didn't know that Mother's Day was such a widespread holiday. I mean, I know you are supposed to call your mother, but I didn't know that the invitation spread out to every mother you know. Thanks for all the love everyone, but I'm going to dedicate this post strictly to my own lovely mother.

I've been wondering in the last couple of days how much babies change people. Not just in a warm, fuzzy type of way, but in a social type of way. There is so much judgement placed on people with children! It seems like everyone has a very fixed idea of what the "perfect mother" should be. Happy Wife, Loving Mother, and besides the whole calm, patient, firm attitude you are supposed to adopt, somehow you have to manage to either maintain a career or stay at home and keep an immaculate house while creating a vast menu of healthy foods for your new crew.

But I'm talking even beyond that unrealistic idealism. There are certain things about women that you just don't associate with motherhood. Things that not EVERY woman likes, may I add. Some things are more of an issue with a younger woman, others with ways people grew up. For instance, way back when, people used to give their children whiskey for sickness or teething. You didn't broadcast it but you knew everyone did it. Now if you were caught rubbing alcohol on your child's gums, someone would send child welfare over so fast they'd catch the scent on the kid's breathe, still fresh. Some young woman like to go out dancing with friends at a club. When you see a girl partying away with her friends, some may judge anyways but to the average eye she's just like anyone else. If you were told she was a mother, suddenly eyebrows raise. Like, why is she out frolicking like a 21 year old on her birthday when she's got someone at home that needs looking after? Things like, wearing certain clothes in public. Should I stop shopping at American Eagle and switch to Gap? Trade my mini skirts in for mommy jeans? Lose my camis and switch to sweaters? If people see me walking down the street in clothing a single 25 year old could wear holding a baby on my hip, they automatically feel defensive as to whether its really "appropriate".

So, as someone who doesn't care what other people think about me, will this baby ultimately change my perspective of people and how they view me? Will I fall under the pressure of wearing the "right" things? Watching the "right" movies? Do I have to stop listening to the radio because my baby will be under the influence of rap music? At what point do you worry or care what people are thinking, and at what point does that cause you to change? And does it cause you to change because you yourself have been persuading into believing what others are thinking around you, or just because you are simply tired of the constant looks, lectures, and so on? As I have discovered, people are extremely vocal once you are pregnant. I can't imagine that goes away once the baby appears. Everyone has an opinion and theirs is ALWAYS right, and its their duty to make sure you know it so you can fix yourself.

I've seen babies take my wild and crazy friends and turn them into domesticated mommies. People who didn't think their lifestyles, clothing, or decisions were wrong in any way, and did a quick 180 to fall into society's pool of well...beige women. There are alot of others I know who go strong with what they believe and what they like, and answer to judgement with a shrug or a smile. I feel the temptation both ways. But I like the way I live, the way I dress, the way I am, and I wouldn't be ashamed to have a kid grow up around that or copy (most of) my decisions, either. I feel like I am going to have to remember that every day though.

On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with considering all of this, because I think that when you get swept up with all of the things- having the perfect nursery, living a perfect life, wearing the perfect clothes- I mean, yes, its extreme, so run away, but its really because you are just trying to provide your kid with everything it seems they should have. At least you are trying to be a good parent, considering the baby, putting them first...just don't go overboard, and don't take society as the final word.